02.23.06
Neither here nor there
I am often faced with this question from my girlfriends: Am I straight because I am with you? One was even a medical student.
I am not sure what to answer. I have curves that rival most women but I feel strange saying that I am 100% woman.
I have ovaries, but no womb: so no kids for me. I am not complaining. But how do you explain to girlfriend that you have fleeting feelings about your phantom body parts, cut off before you were even aware of its existence?
“Easier for the doctors to make a hole than to make a pole”. That’s what I was told.
In the Indian culture , someone like me is respected and honored because it is said that, my words, whether curses or blessings, being from someone straddling both genders, will come true. But, that is fear, not understanding.
I am not angry. I am just tired. Tired of being used to all this stuff happening, just because I understand how others don’t understand. I wish people around me could accept both parts of me: in a shaved head, packing, male looking body as well as a sari clad jewellery wearing one.
I am both and neither. Neither here, nor there.
I am not whining. Just hoping that my words will make you think, wonder and try to gain the answers.
Global Voices Online » Blog Archive » Singapore: In-Between said,
February 25, 2006 at 4:26 am
[...] At Singapore’s Sayoni Speak, Sheila Rajamanikam describes what it’s like being a transsexual: “I wish people around me could accept both parts of me: in a shaved head, packing, male looking body as well as a sari clad jewellery wearing one.” [...]