03.31.06
Posted in General, Identity, Youth at 4:47 pm by lublub
Hey everybody, take a good look around you…
Do you see anything positive about the gay community in the media? Do you see any real-life character that is publicly out, and who is an excellent example of a successful gay person (or at least a gay person who is happy and contented in life)?
No, right? There are none. This is at least true for the mainstream, mostly heterosexual, society in Singapore. Is it then unsurprising, that for most youths, part of their homophobia stems from the fact that to be gay is unthinkable? Because it seems like such a scary, unknown and helpless situation. Something that they cannot identify with in the mainstream media. People reject the unfamiliar after all.
Gay youths are often at a lost as to how to live their lives now that they know that they are different. There aren’t any guide books, or helpful resources in schools that will soothe their worries and affirm the normalcy of their feelings. Sexuality education does not touch on homosexuality at all. Teachers are perceived as the ’right’ role models to teach teenagers. However, by the decree of the government, they generally take on a homophobic stance despite their personal beliefs. Thus, many of us gay youths would feel apprehensive to approach teachers (even those who are obviously gay) for help and understanding. They are not the role models that they could potentially be, even though we desperately need them.
Read the rest of this entry »
- About: Lublub is a clueless lesbian with a horrible gaydar. She does not know what to do with girls and once upon a time saw no future for herself in being gay. And who finally found her role models in two American lesbians who were blissfully together for more than two decades.
- Forum discussion: Youth
- technorati: Youth, Role Models, Coming Out, Identity, Lesbians, Queer
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03.26.06
Posted in LGBT Rights at 4:01 pm by pleinelune
March 25, 2006 (Singapore) – Feelin’ Good, a party organised by gay and lesbian media and events company Fridae, has been cancelled after the venue, Ministry of Sound, received a telephone call from local police on Friday evening demanding that they cease venue provision for the event.
According to Mr. Clement Lee, executive director of Ministry of Sound’s parent company LifeBrandz, Mr Kelvin Yeo, Compliance Management Officer from Tanglin Police called on Friday evening after office hours demanding that the club cancel the event, failing which enforcement officers would come to the club on Sunday to shut the party down. The reason given by the police to Mr. Lee over the telephone was that the party would “promote gay activities.”
Whilst Singapore laws prohibit gay sex, there are no laws against being gay. As recently as 2003, then Prime Minister Goh Chok Tong was interviewed in Time Magazine about the Singapore government’s non-discrimination policy for employment in the civil service, and was quoted saying gays are “just like you and me.”
Singapore has a thriving gay scene that includes more than dozen organisations, bars and establishments catering primarily to a gay or lesbian clientele. Feelin’ Good would have been Fridae’s first party in Singapore in more than a year and a half, featuring popular Australian DJ Kate Monroe.
In response to previous criticism by current Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong that Fridae’s parties “should not be targeted at gays alone” (December 2004), Feelin’ Good has been actively promoted to the mainstream public through a variety of media, including Lush 99.5FM radio and local publications IS and Juice.
“The reaction from the police has been completely unexpected,” said Dr Stuart Koe, CEO of Fridae. “Feelin’ Good is simply a party, not unlike any party held at clubs all around Singapore. There is no legal justification for what the police has done. This is yet another example of institutionalised discrimination against gays and lesbians.”
Fridae regrets the turn of events and will offer full refunds to ticket holders. Please refer to the website www.fridae.com/feelingood for the refund process. We would also like to thank the community and our sponsors for your continued support and understanding.
First off, I would like to say that yours truly hasn’t been to a single gay party, pub or club in her entire life. So I am really wondering how the Homosexuals were able to “encourage” me to enter a gay lifestyle. I am sure it has absolutely nothing to do with all those cute girls I was fawning over from young, when I didn’t even know that lesbians could get it on.
Secondly, I’d like to offer my condolences to Mr Kelvin Yeo for having been made the national (and international) laughing stock, and having to be the mouthpiece for our darling government who just LOVES to control the lives of its citizens to a tee.
Thirdly, I’d like to tell all the gay citizenry in Singapore: emigrate, darlings. As soon as you can - leave this hell-hole behind, and don’t look back. Don’t hope for anything from Minilee, or that he is any different from his father.
Maybe what Fridae should do is to organise mass deportation to other countries for all gay and lesbian people - let’s see if Minilee steps in and says that it would promote a “gay lifestyle”, or is not “in their national interests”.
- technorati: queer, gay, lesbian, Fridae, Singapore
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03.25.06
Posted in Feminism, Relationships at 6:49 pm by pleinelune
“Ugh. Straight men!”
Sounds familiar? Of course it does – many of us would have said in the past, in the same tone we denounce religious bigots or a particularly distasteful barbarian tribe. Men are our enemies, men are our arch nemesis, out to steal our girlfriends and exploit us through pornography. Men are clueless idiots who have no idea how to please a girl [and of course, you can do it so much better, can’t you?] and only think of their penises. Men think that lesbianism is a phase and that lesbians just haven’t met the right man.
Of course, sadly, many of these stereotypes are true. But not always – I came out with the help of a STRAIGHT male friend, who had absolutely no problems with me being gay. It is fair to say without him, I wouldn’t be here typing this, because I’d be deep in my closet.
Rationally, any one would know that not all men are male chauvinist homophobes. Sadly, though, many lesbians continue to persist in their misoandric ways, though irrational. We lambast gay men for being misogynistic, but what about our own prejudices? How many times have we derided penises, the way gay men deride vagina?
Read the rest of this entry »
- About: Pleinelune is a feminist, man-and-woman loving girl who thinks that man-hating lesbians are stupid.
- Forum discussion: Feminism
- technorati: queer, lesbian, bisexual, men, misoandry
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03.24.06
Posted in Coming out, General, Identity, LUSH, Support Groups at 10:07 am by jin
It was last Thursday. I had tea with my aunt’s ex-gay friend. Actually I had met her once before, so when we met this time, we just started by chatting about things in general. We talked about bars and clubs, because she is a musician and has been playing in nightspots her whole professional life. (This was some hip 47-year-old, OK!)
The conversation was very informal and friendly all the time. Mostly she was just sharing about her past and telling me about her experiences. She was not offensive or patronising or condescending. She didn’t say “If I can change and be straight, you can and must do it too”. I think I was just (as usual) preparing myself for the worst. Having never met anyone who hails from the ex-gay camp (pun intended), I half expected this lady to be a Bible-thumping, verse-spewing, self-righteous, re-virginised prude who would stare down at me from atop her high horse.
But she actually seemed quite normal. Her stand is that though homosexuality is wrong, maybe it is just part of my journey. Maybe it is just a phase that I have to go through to experience something or other. (I’m fine with that. People are allowed to draw whatever conclusions they wish, as long as they are not offensive, or trying to force me to believe what they believe.)
Read the rest of this entry »
- About: Jin is boldly testing the waters.
- Column:
- Forum discussion: Christianity
- technorati: lesbian, gay, ex-gay, queer, coming out, christianity, gay christians
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03.22.06
Posted in Feminism, General, Health, Women's Health at 1:45 pm by immoralfear
super models
cover girls
porn stars and strippers
sex appeal, superficial beauty
little girl wake up and see
you’re nothing if you don’t grow up to look like Barbie
the modern symbol of femininity
ladies: starve your body
feed your anxiety
we recieve those messages
too loud and clear
liposuction and boob jobs
suck it in, stick ‘em out
give in to envy and self doubt
spend your life savings on cosmetic surgery
paint yourself unrecognizable
make sure you glow
from head to toe
your health is always compromisable
nail polish, lipstick
try this beauty trick
make up, miracle creams
try to be the woman of men’s dreams
make sure your teeth are perfect
or you’ll never be able to forget
that you aren’t good enough
and you aren’t made of the right stuff
keep trying to look like her
see how much abuse your body can endure
for the sake of superficial beauty
desire isn’t blind
so you can’t have peace of mind
you’re repulsive compared to the woman over there
so lose weight, put make up on, dye your hair
so says the mirror on my wall
so many products, I’ve tried them all
and still there’s no getting away
from the pressure of looking attractive today
this is how women are made to feel
society has a wound that will never heal
- About: Immoralfear is a progressive keyboard activist for feminist, gay and mental health causes and enjoys unstructured writing as well as other unconventional pursuits.
- Forum discussion: Beauty, Feminism
- technorati: feminism, beauty
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03.20.06
Posted in General, Health at 7:40 pm by AnJ
I was traveling towards the city when three little girls pranced into the train.
Young. Rambunctious. Indefatigable.
Do you remember how it was?
… Can you remember how it was?
Grins from ear to ear. Radiating wth youthful exuberance. They lifted my countenance… I was smiling in spite of myself. So contagious…
Will they remember how it was?
When did it all start?
The little hassles embedded in mundaneness of life. The striving.
The need to make that grade; to earn that amount; to get that promotion; to attract that dream girl…
All these… have subtly waltzed away with the simple pleasures of life.
The good life as a destination is a bottomless pit:
Before you get your class 3 licence, it’s a indispensable marker of the next phase of your life. After you get your class 3 licence, it’s just another card in your wallet.
Before you get that A grade, you would sacrificed nights of good sleep. After you get that A grade, it’s just another alphabet on your transcipt.
Before you get your little niche, you thought your sanity hedges on it. After you get a place of your own, you worry about maintaining it.
When was the last time you stopped to watch the clouds go by… to muse over the erratic shapes they take and how capricious they are?
The stray cat that roams is a spectacle… watch how she stretches and yawns… the way the ears move one after another as it turns its head this way and that.
Have you sat quietly and observed people on the streets… and wondered at how their lives are written on their faces? Laugh-lines around the eyes, train-tracks on their foreheads… And to be amazed at how a prune-face can be magically transformed by the upturning corners of the mouth?
Ambition? Yes of course.
Putting our best foot forward? Most certainly.
But must all these… sacrifice the spontanity we once held… and the appreciation we once had of little things…?
- About: Mier is living bits and pieces of what it was... and wondering how many folks out there do too...
- Forum discussion: Emotional Health
- technorati: lesbians, health
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03.16.06
Posted in Coming out, General, Identity, LUSH at 12:32 pm by jin
I’ve been wearing a rainbow-coloured rubber wristband. You know, those wristbands that come in various colours, first it was a yellow one from the Lance Armstrong Foundation, then there was the dual black/white for anti-racism, and before long, even Giordano and McDonalds were selling them too. I’m not one for fads, so I’ve never owned or bought one in any of the myriad of colours they come in. Except this Rainbow one.
My gf and I bought one each, from a gay shop in Sydney. Our $10 went in support of the Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras Parade. We put them on as we left the shop, and to me, it was like now I was “branded”, I was wearing a visible sign that acknowledges that I am gay. My gf wondered if wearing rainbow wristbands would attract attention and maybe get us beaten up by some anti-gay hooligans.
It was a big step for me, my small triumph of activism. Declaring to the world “Hey, I am gay, and I don’t mind letting you know that either.” Ordinarily, people would not glance twice at me because my appearance fits the stereotype of “straight”, but this time, we both felt somewhat self-conscious as we walked back to the train station. Read the rest of this entry »
- About: Jin believes that if not for tiny little drops of water, there would be no ocean.
- Forum discussion: Sayoni Forum
- technorati: lesbian, queer, gay, coming out, sydney mardi gras 06, gay pride, identity
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03.14.06
Posted in Emotional Health, Youth at 4:58 pm by pleinelune
Note: This is a edited version of the entry I wrote in my own blog long time ago, in response to a meme started by Mercermachine
I’m that girl. Yes, that girl, whom at 8, felt older than the rest of the world. I’m that girl who climbed trees and played soccer and cricket with the boys, yet loved her Barbie Dolls. I’m that girl who was always on the outside, no matter where she went.
I’m that girl who is always so resistant to change, yet when it actually happens, she adapts like a chameleon. I’m that girl who played alone in the playground of her new flat, because she didn’t know anyone in this new country. I’m that girl who made a hobby of going up and down in the elevators of HDB blocks, because it was all so new to her.
I’m that girl who then grew up and fell in love with you. I was the one who would make all kinds of excuses to be with you, even though she didn’t know why. I’m that girl who thought you were beautiful even when you were drenched, exhausted, and had a pimple on your nose.
I’m that girl, who told you her love by the seaside, waves lapping up on the shore of Sentosa, knowing you could never reciprocate. I was the girl who then watched you walk away from me, after you most politely rejected me because…. I was a girl.
I’m that girl, who said no because she didn’t want to break your heart with the pain of distance. I’m that girl who still loves you from afar.
I am the girl now, who watches your every move now, every facial expression and gesture. I am the girl who flushes every single time you speak to me. I am that girl, who gets irrationally jealous when others get near you, boy or girl.
I’m that girl, who lost your friendship when I told you I was bisexual. I’m the one, who loves men and women, but presents only one side to the world for the fear of losing more of you.
I’m that girl who is politely cast out of the community because she refuses to conform to any label. I’m that girl who has to ignore her own heritage in order to function anywhere.
I’m that girl, who has everything and nothing at the same time. I’m that girl, who is always caught between two conflicting worlds, and can find no way to heal the rift.
Yeah, I’m that girl. So who are you?
- About: Pleinelune is someone who has seen much, and emerged stronger for it.
- Forum discussion: Youth
- technorati: youth, queer, lesbian, bisexual, homosexuality
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03.12.06
Posted in General, LUSH, Support Groups at 5:03 pm by jin
So today at 5pm I’m supposed to go meet up with my aunt’s ex-gay friend. (How did this happen?)
Yes! I finally came out to my uncle and aunt. This was two Thursdays ago (every time we have dinner at their house it seems to be a Thursday). After dinner, we were still loitering around the dinner table, and I said to my uncle “I have something to tell you, I am gay.”
It was something like jumping into a chilly swimming pool on a hot day. You are comfy and warm on the deck chair. Yet you know you want to go into the pool. You know it’s going to be deliciously cold and refreshing once you’re in, but you also know that the transition, the split second that the icy water hits your sun-warmed skin, is going to be a jolt. So you steel your nerves, grit your teeth, take a deep breath and jump in.
And once I had said it, it really was kinda like being underwater; a shiver ran through my body and I was still holding my breath and adjusting to the shock of the transition. And there was silence. A few seconds where everything sounded very distant and dull.
Read the rest of this entry »
- About: Jin is boldly testing the waters.
- Column:
- Forum discussion: Christianity
- technorati: lesbian, gay, queer, coming out, christianity, gay christians
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03.09.06
Posted in Coming out, General at 3:20 pm by AnJ
-From the series “P.S. I love you”-
This picture of a girly one, an androgynous one and a squirrel got me laughing. The squirrel seems to hold a wistful or puzzled look. And the couple appears to be asking the furry animal, “Is it wrong for us to be so happy?” You got to know a bit of my history to know why i had barrels of laughter upon seeing this… When i was with my ex-boyfriend, i called him “Squirrel”.
In the aftermath of the break-up, there are many friends, male and female alike, who told me not to “lose hope”… because some boy will come along someday and whisk me off my feet… and he would be Mr. Right… and that I don’t have to “off-guys” just because i had bad experiences. That was their first response when i told them the next person that i am dating is a girl. I was amused by their reactions. Deeply rooted in their unconsciousness: a girl involved with a boy will not fall for another girl, unless she received deeply etched scars from some male bastard. And deeper than this is the notion that: Lesbian relationships are of second class order.
(It is my fault partially. I never quite explained why i gave up the four year plus relationship I had with Squirrel. Let’s just say that when discontent comes, it is multi-layered and multi-faceted… and using someone’s weak points to break-up is merely a reason in disguise. After all, who’s perfect?)
And then there are close friends (and my mother) who exclaimed in bewilderment, “But you have always been straight!” Straight = physically with someone with the opposite sex? What about the mental aspect? I had my first crush on an androgynous-looking girl when i was 14. Why didn’t i tell anyone? Oh well, blame it on homophobic behavior… since i was not involved with any girl at that time, i didn’t see the benefits of taking the risk. Read the rest of this entry »
- About: Mier enjoys the simple pleasures of life... like a cup of cold soyabean in the early morn.
- Forum discussion: Coming-Out
- technorati: homosexuality, bisexual, gay, lesbians
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