07.31.06
Posted in General, Queer News at 6:41 pm by snorkeem
Eleven months ago Utopia launched its publication division. Since then we’ve published 6 guidebooks under the Utopia banner: the Utopia Guide to China; to Cambodia, Laos, Myanmar & Vietnam; to Thailand; to Singapore, Malaysia & Indonesia; to Japan, South Korea & Taiwan, and to Asia (16 countries). See http://www.utopia-asia.com/utopiaguide/ for more info.
As companions to our 6 guidebooks we want to publish additional volumes under the Utopia banner and would like to invite artists and authors to contribute to the first of these, a collection of short works (10-50 pages would be ideal) by gays and lesbians exploring destinations in Asia. Works should not be extremely “time-sensitive” as the intention is to continue selling this book for years to come.
You may select any location within the region, and any subject you wish to focus on. Essays or stories that touch on gay/lesbian-related subjects will be given priority in the final selection. In addition to non-fiction, works of fiction or poetry are also welcome. Photographs are as well, although these will appear only in black and white.
Content may be erotic but must not be pornographic. Authors retain all rights. Utopia retains the right to edit works as needed. Works should be proofed and spell-checked and submitted in plain text format or Word format.
The book will be distributed by Ingram, the largest distributor in the US. The books will be available in electronic form and will also be available in printed form from major online resellers around the world.
Please contact us for details if you are interested in participating. There will be a fee paid to those selected for publication.
Feel free to submit more than one piece. We are also looking to publish complete works under the Utopia banner, so if you have an Asia-themed novel or other gay/lesbian-Asia related project sitting around gathering dust, please let us know.
We look forward to your participation!
Contact: Utopia, info@utopia-asia.com
- technorati: Utopia-Asia, glbt, gay, lesbian, glbt publication, glbt writing
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07.29.06
Posted in Coming out, General, Youth at 9:57 am by sayoni
Pridemonth is upon us, once again… and though most of us cannot have pride parades in our home country, that does not mean we cannot celebrate Pride. We don’t need pride marches to come out to the world: we can start at home, to our loved ones and friends.
This is a collection of stories on coming out - good and bad, happy and sad, that have been published on Sayoni since we started. [In chronological order]
Coming out Earnestly
by lublub
Girls are beautiful creatures.
I have always thought so. The seniors at school were really pretty. So were the models in magazines and the teenage starlets on TV. I loved looking at their pictures, and I would spend countless hours on the computer looking at my pretty celebrity crushes. And at school, I would look at my seniors with a certain longing. My eyes followed their every beautiful and breathtaking movement. Sometimes, I looked at my own friends too with that same desire.
Read more…
Activism with a band on
by jin
I’ve been wearing a rainbow-coloured rubber wristband. You know, those wristbands that come in various colours, first it was a yellow one from the Lance Armstrong Foundation, then there was the dual black/white for anti-racism, and before long, even Giordano and McDonalds were selling them too. I’m not one for fads, so I’ve never owned or bought one in any of the myriad of colours they come in. Except this Rainbow one.
Read more…
Where do I go from here?
by jin
So today at 5pm I’m supposed to go meet up with my aunt’s ex-gay friend. (How did this happen?)
Yes! I finally came out to my uncle and aunt. This was two Thursdays ago (every time we have dinner at their house it seems to be a Thursday). After dinner, we were still loitering around the dinner table, and I said to my uncle “I have something to tell you, I am gay.”
Read more…
3 words, 3 friends, 3 aspects
by mint
After a moment of silence… I looked straight into my friend’s eyes with trust and sincerity… and three words came out of my mouth.
I said, “I like girls.
Friend A is from Shanghai. She came to Singapore when she was 13 years of age. After almost 10 years, she is “Singaporified”- speaking in Singlish and eating laksa. However, when I spoke the words above, I was not sure if she could accept it due to her upbringing by her conservative parents.
Read more…
Internalised Homophobia
by imperfectlyme
I’m dreadful when it comes to remembering people’s names, especially Chinese ones. But I have a better memory for the conversations which I have, especially if the conversation is memorable because it is witty, engaging, enlightening or even downright annoying.
One conversation which has stayed in my mind is the one I had with a another lesbian when I was first coming out, and she eventually became a good friend. She was sharing her experiences about living as a lesbian in Malaysia with me and during that conversation she mentioned,
“Gay people can be very homophobic because of their internalised homophobia.”
Read more…
Coming out, the most powerful form of activism
by Amajor_resonance
I was sitting outside the lecture theatre, having a short break with a friend after a particularly draining and exhausting lecture.
She is someone I knew since my junior college days, when she was in the same CCA as me. We were never close friends, but somehow a strange streak of fate brought us together again, when we ended up in the same faculty in university, and happened to take one same course for that particular semester.
It started off as an innocent conversation, but it did not last that way.
Read more… Part 2
For you, my first love
by ilashes
I was what, nine? You would have been hardly older. You were the new girl, the kid who transferred from another school. The maroon skirt had not itself accustomed itself to you. You were tugging on the white shirt, tucked in as per regulations. You looked up, with a brilliant smile on your face.
Read more…
In the closet no more
by Imperfectlyme
Today is the first day of me reading your blog. I feel somewhat connected to it, as though it were the story of my life, past, present and future. Everyday I wake up and I am faced with the prospect of living in a close minded society. I live in Malaysia and it being a Muslim country, there are a lot of restrictions and people are narrow minded when it comes to GLBT right. Our mere presence in this society is a burden to them for they see us as parasites, leeches. We bring shame to the community.
Read more…
- Forum discussion: Coming out
- technorati: gay, queer, lesbian, coming out, activism, singapore, malaysia, asian, youth
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07.27.06
Posted in Chinese, Coming out, General, Identity at 10:06 pm by Guest Writers
“勇敢”两字背后所涵盖的勇气，不是每个人都能掏出来，尤其是勇敢的从衣柜里走出来。
我自问不是个懦弱的人，面对难题也不会逃避和畏缩，但我就是没有足够的勇气……
知道我是圈内人的非圈中好友，十只手指都数得完。
A: 你为什么最近总是讲电话讲到偷笑，你朋友是男的女的？
我: 女的。
A: 啊？！ （惊讶的表情）
我: 跟女生讲话就不可以笑吗？（不屑一顾）
A: 但你的样子好像在蜜运中，你不会……喜欢上女生吧？
我: 有问题吗？
A: …… (沉默……沉默……又是沉默……)
A是我相交5 年的室友，因为我的反问句“有问题吗？”而跟我有一段长时间的疏远。我能做什么? 只是满腔的无奈。
但还是有人能接受我的性取向，只是无法说服自己去相信。
B: 她是你的女朋友吗？
我: 为什么这么说？（觉得一点点的不寻常……）
B: 我那天看见你牵着她的手，四目交投……(接下去是很多四字成语。 注：这里的四字成语是用来形容如胶似漆的甜蜜。)
我: 要是我真的和她在一起，你会怕吗？（试探她对女女关系的观点。）
B: 我不会怕，也不会介意，只是有一点不可思议。
我: 为什么？
B: 你条件不差，之前他也跟你很好，为什么现在……(看着我，眼神有点凝重。)
我: 条件不差就不可以喜欢女生？ （什么道理？）
B: 要不要再考虑一下？
我: 考虑要不要跟她结婚？
这个朋友自从知道我跟女生走在一起后，每隔一、两个月就会借几本书给我看大多数的内容都是跟“走出同性关系”相关。
还有一种朋友， 也就是最极端也最好奇的非圈中份子。
C: 可不可以跟我透露一下…… (不停的向我眨眼，意示我应该向她全盘托出。)
我: 我有什么东西是这么有新闻价值的？
C: 其实我好奇了好久。
我: 好奇？什么东西？
C: 你跟我做了这么多年的朋友，将来听听嘛？
我: 到底是什么？你不告诉我，我又怎么知道？（不耐烦。）
C: 跟xx在一起了吗？
我: 这…… ( 没想到神秘的地下情都会被人逮到。)
C: 纸包不住火啦，赶快让我开开眼界。
我: 什么？（摸不着头脑。）
C: 跟女生接吻的感觉怎样？（眼睛睁得很大。）
我: 那……你要不要试试？（故意趋前靠近她的脸，吓她一大跳。）
有没有发现，我跟朋友坦白都是在她们追问的情况下发生的， 而且都是“她们”。不知道为什么，总是觉得跟男生说这些会比较容易被误解和反对。反复思量过后， 觉得原因有两个: 一、男生都爱面子，要是给他们知道我竟然“弃男选女”，那会很伤他们的自尊心。二、我男生的朋友，特别保守，我跟女性朋友交头接耳的讲话，或是搭搭肩膀，挽一挽腰都会指指点点，真是少见多怪。
跟朋友坦诚相对，比起跟父母说，应该来得轻松许多吧，尤其是好像我这样出生在一个极度保守家庭的人，父母都是执教鞭的，我又哪回有满腔的勇气去告诉他们呢？
所以，每一天的86400秒，我都在等着懦弱季节的离去，真的不知道勇敢的季节几时才会找上门来。
Read the rest of this entry »
tags:
coming out,
gay,
glbt,
glbt,
lesbian,
queer,
“走出来”,
出柜,
同志,
同性恋,
女同志,
性取向,
拉子,
拉拉,
衣櫃化,
tongzhi
- About: shAnE is waiting for the freedom of life.
- Forum discussion: 女儿国
- technorati: tongzhi, glbt, queer, lesbian, gay, glbt, 同性恋, 同志, 女同志, 拉拉, 拉子, coming out, 性取向, “走出来”, 衣櫃化, 出柜
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07.24.06
Posted in General, Identity, LGBT Rights at 11:57 am by pleinelune
He drew a circle that shut me out –
Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout.
But love and I had the wit to win:
We drew a circle that took him in.
- Edwin Markham
LGBTQ people have enough trouble getting acceptance from society at large – even in the most liberal of countries, tales of gay bashing abound. Most us are still in the closet, afraid to step out and face the world. Afraid of being cast out, of being rejected for being who they are. Inclusivity and diversity, then, becomes one of our paramount principles.
Then the question begs to be asked: what about within ourselves? The LGBTQ community is hardly uniform… it exhibits amazing diversity, sexual, gender-based and otherwise. From the stone butches to the gay military boys to the drag queens to the leather dykes to the lipstick lesbians to the… you get the point. You name it, we’ve got it. The queer community is an infinite prism of diverse communities, some of which are entirely unknown outside their circles.
When talking about inclusion of minorities into the gay movement, it is necessary to divide it into two parts: sexual minorities, and subcultures. Sexual minorities are defined by who they are - their orientation and gender identity, for example, transsexuals1. Subcultures are much harder to define - a loose, but not exhaustive definition would be to define it by their practices, sexual and otherwise. They are much more varied, and fluid. Examples would include BDSM2 culture, polyamory et cetera. Even non-sexual groups such as radical feminist lesbian groups can be counted as a subculture.
Read the rest of this entry »
- About: Pleinelune's mind is stretched everyday, and it is not because of maths
- Forum discussion:
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07.18.06
Posted in General at 2:56 pm by snorkeem
Indignation 2006, the second annual Gay and Lesbian Pride Season, starts on 1 August and will comprise around 20 events.
The event calendar can be seen at www.plu.sg/indignation/
Like last year, there will be a number of forums on various subjects, from women’s issues to gay marriage, from Indian classical literature to the recent general election.
Well-known writer Christine Suchen Lim will be reading two of her stories on 10 August in the event titled “Mothers at the edge”. Acclaimed playwright Desmond Sim’s new play, “Fairy Godfather” will be given a reading on 12 and 13 August.
Dominic Chua will once again be organising ContraDiction”, an evening of gay poetry, on 3 August.
This year, transgendered Singaporeans will also be having their own dialogue session, also on 3 August.
The organisers of Indignation 2006 are a subgroup from People Like Us, a gay and lesbian group whose mission is public education with respect to sexuality and non-discrimination.
“There is a tremendous amount of energy and creativity among gays and lesbians,” says Russell Heng, one of the organisers. “The pity is that Singapore doesn’t realise the contribution made by gay and lesbian Singaporeans unless one organises a festival like this to showcase it.”
Adds Alex Au: “Nor do many Singaporeans realise that straight people too, e.g. Suchen Lim, one of our contributors, support the message that ignorance and discrimination is wrong.”
“Indignation is a broad tent. Everybody, straight and gay, is welcome to participate,” stressed Kelvin Wong. “And hopefully, people will realise that that party set do not typify the gay community.”
“The ultimate message of Indignation,” says Jean Chong, “is that lesbians, bisexuals, transsexuals and gays are part of Singapore life and members of our families, and we should be asking ourselves, why do we discriminate against our own?”
Agreeing, Miak Siew, who is curating an art exhibition, titled “Sama-sama”, says, “We want to reflect the dreams and aspirations of the gay community as part of Singapore.”
Not all events are serious; Pride Season is interspersed with social evenings for light-hearted fun including an evening of Chinese singing at Xpose cafe and the Great Singapore Makeover at Mox bar and cafe. Tantric Bar is organising Paradise 2006, to celebrate National Day.
The Pride Season will round off with a book launch on 24 August, followed by a chill-out evening at Club95.
For more information, please see:
www.plu.sg/indignation/
(email link available from that site)
- Forum discussion: Events
- technorati: GLBT, Singapore Pride Month, Indignation, gay, lesbian
Permalink
07.17.06
Posted in Coming out, General, Identity at 5:41 pm by Guest Writers
Today is the first day of me reading your blog. I feel somewhat connected to it, as though it were the story of my life, past, present and future. Everyday I wake up and I am faced with the prospect of living in a close minded society. I live in Malaysia and it being a Muslim country, there are a lot of restrictions and people are narrow minded when it comes to GLBT right. Our mere presence in this society is a burden to them for they see us as parasites, leeches. We bring shame to the community.
However, what they fail to see, I think, is that we are also human. We live and breathe the same air and we need and want the same things. Though we may never have equal rights as those of the straight, we dream of a day when we can hold our partners’ hand in public without glares and sneers from people around us. I have lived my life bending to societal views of me and my kind of people. I have never thought of confronting them about these issues as I find it pointless.
I was previously in a relationship with a closet lesbian. She confided that she indeed loved women however, she was afraid of how people would look at her. I was often ‘left out’ when it came to meeting friends. I was bleeped out as though I didn’t matter and it hurt.
I guess when society does it, you figure that it is society’s blindness and ignorance that makes them behave the way they do. But when your own partner shows you such disdain, such want to hide you and not even regard you enough as a friend to be introduced to her friends, you feel hurt. You feel betrayed. Suffice to say, the relationship didn’t work out. I tried being in the shadows, where she’d rather me be but I found that it was difficult to not be recognised by my own partner.
Recently, I met a girl. She is someone whom I’ve known for a long time but only now, do I have romantic feelings for her. It is amazing how in the short span of a month, she has shown me just what love really is. She is open about her feelings and isn’t ashamed of me. She introduces me to her close friends as her gf and they accept me for that. These are her straight friends, mind you. She has even mentioned to her sister that she has a gf. That meant a lot to me. It showed me that she was not only proud to have me as her gf but that she was proud of ‘us’. She wasn’t ashamed of being a lesbian and neither was she ashamed of being in love.
Me… I’ve found coming out easy. I told my best friend first and her reaction was pure joy. She did not discrimate. She loved me more, in fact. When people ask me if I’m straight, I reply that I do like boys but I now have a gf whom I love very much. Those that judge me, I ignore. Those that are happy for me, I feel happy for them.
To my friends who’ve loved me and accepted me for all that I am, I love you guys. I do. There is nothing more I could ask from you. You have given me love and support even in times when I’ve not asked for it. To my baby. Happy 2 months anniversary. I want you. I need you. Thank you for being the wonderful person that you are.
- About: ImperfectlyMe is from Malaysia. She is currently in a healthy relationship with a loving partner.
- Forum discussion: Coming Out
- technorati: glbt, lesbian, coming out, malaysia, lesbian love, dykes
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07.14.06
Posted in Coming out, Youth at 10:06 am by Guest Writers
This is a piece of guestwriting by ilashes.
I was what, nine? You would have been hardly older. You were the new girl, the kid who transferred from another school. The maroon skirt had not itself accustomed itself to you. You were tugging on the white shirt, tucked in as per regulations. You looked up, with a brilliant smile on your face.
I would never forget that smile. Even after all these years, that smile remains the one thing I remember the most about you. You never frowned, you never got angry or sad. Always happy, always smiling.
I took you by your hand, showed you around the school. I was so eager to befriend you, knowing how lost you were in this strange world. I treasured every moment with you.
It was the giddy scent of your skin, the wonderfully smooth porcelain complexion. It was every word I had with you. It was your rosy cheeks, your bright, beautiful eyes.
One day, I found myself writing a letter to you, expressing how much I valued our relationship. I do not know what possessed me to write it. But I wanted to do something special, give you something indicative of how much you meant to me.
I put down my pen, and stared at the letter, written in blood-red ink. I did not know why I was writing this… I did not know why I felt like this… I could not have known, not at the tender age of nine. The words on the paper stared back at me - I crumpled it up and tossed it into the dustbin.
Maybe you sensed it – maybe you realized all wasn’t right with the way I adored you. Maybe our paths simply diverged. Maybe I distanced myself from you, confused I was by my feelings.
A few days later, you passed me by, with nary a glance in my direction. Watching you walk past with another girl… that was just too much. Poison dripped from my tongue, surprising my acquaintance with my antagonism towards you. Her questioning glance made me look away, half-guiltily. How could I explain why I was hurt? I didn’t even understand it myself.
I understand fully, now, of course. Every emotion, every childish crushing feeling. I only understood that anger after I fell in love again, with another girl, forcing me to face myself after years of denial.
I still remember your face, you know. I’ve forgotten the faces of every other playmate I’ve had at that age. But I remember every single thing about you, down to the distinctive scent of your skin.
It doesn’t matter you were never mine. But I thank you, my first love, for opening my eyes to this world. Thank you for making me realize who I am.
- About: ilashes is a big mushball.
- Forum discussion: Youth
- technorati: queer, lesbian, coming out, youth
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07.12.06
Posted in General at 11:42 am by AnJ
Giving thanks… is not something i am apt at, when things are not going my way.
I have been pretty blue of late.
It’s the uncertainties of my career path, being a fresh graduate and all.
My dreams of pursuing post-graduate studies; my desire for self-maintenance… together with the long wait for application results, gave me new anxieties with a measure i have never experienced.
It’s amazing that when you wish to support yourself, the things that push your buttons look different. Repairs for a laptop with a faulty cooling system would cost about $100- $200. New eyewear would need another $200. Taking GRE would take another few hundred; not to mention that with each school that you apply for, you would pay USD 100.
And i have yet to be gainfully employed.
So, for weeks, i have been walking around the house a little blue. I became oblivious to many things because my mind has taken on only one track- getting employed. My friends whom i used to talk to, for whom i used to be there for, i have neglected. Partly because of the faultly laptop; partly because i lacked the capacity to be there for them.
“If i cannot get myself out of this, what value does my encouragement hold?” Read the rest of this entry »
- About: Mier is going to be okay.
- Forum discussion: Emotional Health
- technorati: lesbian, singapore, family
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07.09.06
Posted in General, Identity at 9:44 pm by lublub
Sexuality is a curious thing.
Over the years as my experiences grew, my thoughts on the word sexuality and what it meant to me has changed at least twice. It wasn’t just small minute changes. In fact, they were huge paradigm shifts. Quantum leaps from the ultra-conservative, to the modern, and now to the new-age.
———
When I was a younger teenager, sexuality was a scary black and white word. There was only one definition of it, and that was straight. Constructed by society and enforced by everyone around you, I tried to box myself into that definition. I didn’t even know the word ‘sexuality’ then; I just knew I was straight. Haha. Crushes on girls were anomalies too horrific to confront. I just brushed them aside into semi-consciousness. Meanwhile, I started to cultivate myself a ‘taste’ in men. When fellow classmates gushed about guys, I talked about their bodies. But I mostly avoided the subject of love if possible.
——–
Fast forward to junior college, I came out to myself and others. Suddenly, sexuality was not an anonymous aspect of self anymore. I could no longer blend my sexuality in. But instead I felt compelled to wear it on my sleeve, like a crown of thorns or a tiara, depending on how you see it. Sexuality became… the opposite of the shadow it once was. It was now an identity.
Lublub is a science student, lublub is a Christian.. ohh, I almost forgot… lublub is a lesbian! *chuckle, why do we not hear straight people proclaiming heterosexuality as part of their identity?*
As a newly-self-discovered gay person, I was proud of my sexuality. I thought of it as a unique character trait. I’m more special… because of my sexuality. Sexuality then embodied many other aspects of me, such as my beliefs in freedom of choice and non-conformity. Sexuality is me. I was lesbian before I was Chinese or anything else.
———
Read the rest of this entry »
- About: Lublub still prefers her favourite brand of ice cream but is open to the idea of trying out new and kinky flavours.
- Forum discussion: Sayoni Forum
- technorati: sexuality, glbt, queer, lesbian, love, relationships
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07.06.06
Posted in General, Relationships at 10:41 am by Guest Writers
Before I ‘discovered’ myself, I embarked on several relationships with men. Two became more serious while others were just dates that I went on. I was never unhappy with men but I was never quite complete. Something felt amiss. Like when we kissed, that spark wasn’t there. I’d often mused on this and deep down inside, I knew the reason for this. I tried really hard to supress these feelings. So much so that I was unhappy. It took me a lot to finally pluck up the courage and come out to my best friend. She is somebody I had known since I was 10. Her sms to me was simple - “It is okay. I still love you.” Then, after 5 minutes, I got another sms that said - “You’re my first gay best friend! Yay!”. I was grateful and thankful …
But I digress. So, I was talking to an ex. We keep in touch via the Internet as he is now in Canada pursuing his career. We talk regularly as regular as exes do. He is prolly the only ex bf that knows about me being with a girl. His response is always similar - that I am living out every male fantasy; to watch two girls making out would be ultra fabulous. At first, I found it amusing that he’d say that but when that statement is made again and again, I felt belittled. Did he just refer to my gf and I as a sexual fantasy?
It pains me to think that all men (straight men) think about when it comes to two girls being together is how good it’d be to get these two girls in bed. With them, mind you. How watching these two girls would ‘get them off’. Do they not realise that apart from that sexual image that is etched in their minds, there is love, trust, unity, longing for each other? All elements of a healthy relationship existing in this relationship as well?
My ex has even gone so far as to suggest a threesome. At that point, I felt like I had to put a stop to things. I told him quite gently and patiently that yes, I am going out with a girl whom I am deeply in love with and yes, perhaps it is a thought that is quite sexy and erotic in nature. However, this sexiness and eroticness is only to be kept between her and I in the bedroom or wherever else we decide to do it *grin* That I would never want to share my baby with anybody else, really. To engage in a threesome would taint the sanctity of our relationship. To engage in a threesome with an ex to satisfy his sexual fantasy would degrade my present relationship with my love.
I think people should be a little more respectful towards others. If you do that with straight people… why not with me and my girl. We deserve that same respect too.
- About: ImperfectlyMe is learning to cope with male sexual fantasies while fending off eager threesome invitations.
- Forum discussion: Sayoni Forum
- technorati: lesbian, glbt, queer, lesbian love, love is equal, gay
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