08.31.06
Posted in General, Humour, LGBT Rights, Relationships at 5:52 pm by jin
Gay activists are all around us! They are people just like you and me! And what with IndigNation just ended, they have had ample opportunity to flex those activist muscles (for which they are so beloved). Suspect your partner might be an activist in her free time? Suddenly finding she has no more free time? Here are more tell-tale signs.
1. The boot of your car suddenly has a stack of A2-sized IndigNation posters plus boxes of A4- and A5-sized IndigNation flyers…(dead giveaway)
…then you and your gf drive around one evening to the various friendly bars and nite-clubs giving them posters to put up to spread the word about Pride Month.
2. Your gf suddenly has many meetings to attend and/or chair…
…so much so that you go to her favourite cafe after a gym session, surveying the place for her. The helpful waiter, recognising you, says “Looking for your friends? The group of girls, one is quite tall, wears glasses…? Yeah, they left about 5 mins ago”
3. Your gf’s bedtime ranges between 3am and 6am.
You go to sleep, she’s online, IM-ing with other energetic souls, organising things. You wake up, she’s still online, IM-ing with other energetic souls, organising yet more things…
4. You try to phone or send her a text message, but there is no response…
Don’t worry! She’s not ignoring you. Try getting onto, say, MSN. She’s probably online, IM-ing someone to convince them to emcee one of the events, or organising yet more logistics.
5. Your house gets redesignated as Lesbian Community Centre.
Living away from home has its advantages. Your gf can organise meetings, parties etc… and which other community space has three friendly cats to accentuate the lesbian-ness?
6. You realise you are on display
As the partner of someone who’s a familiar face in our community, I find myself surrounded by new friends, some of whom are younger than I am. We/I get all kinds of questions from “Can I borrow some non-fiction books on sex?” (Sure, just keep them clean) to “So what’s it like, being attached, and old?” (Just wait til you get there yourself, honey)
7. You find yourself at a whole range of gay pride events…
…and see such queer icons as Alex Au and Russell Heng (I mean, Dr Russell Heng)…and find them introducing themselves by their first names! Well, I’ve decided that Uncle Alex and Uncle Russell are more appropriate. And respectful.
I hope these clues help you determine if your gf might secretly be a gay activist… Or indeed, if YOU yourself might unwittingly be one too!
- About: jin: (thinks) Gay activism? huh...whazzat...?
- Forum discussion: Sayoni Forum
- technorati: lgbt, gay, lesbian, queer, gay activism, gay activists, glbt, relationships, singapore, indignation
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08.28.06
Posted in General, Singapore Gay News, Youth at 7:15 pm by sayoni
Queer Singaporean youth launch a portal for themselves.
A group of young queer Singaporeans have come together to start a youth portal establishing itself as a resource for their peers.
Led by 20-year-old polytechnic graduate Azimin Saini, the group comprises 9 youths with different racial backgrounds and sexual orientations.
“There really are no resources to deal with gay youth in Singapore, even till today.” He said. “And we’re often the ones who are crying out for help and need it most.”
The website can be seen at www.plume.sg
The name PLUME stands for People Like You and Me, an amalgamation of the acronym, PLU (People Like Us), which has incidentally become widely used to describe gay people in Singapore, and Senior Minister Goh’s widely quoted phrase that gay people are just like “you and me”.
The logo centers on a youth’s sense of individuality with the circle ringed around ME in PLUME. It also means ‘feather’; the jagged wings symbolise the act of taking flight – to discover the unlimited potential as young people and to be free from the mental constraints society imposes based on sexual and/or gender identity.
“In our conservative society and in most circles, the word ‘queer’ is considered a taboo that is left unspoken. Many pretend that we, as young queer Singaporeans don’t exist and shrug it off”, said 19-year-old Cher Tan, an Editor on PLUME.
Many others feel that they are, too, being ignored.
“Coming out was difficult. I grappled my way around and it was really lonely. I see all these well-adjusted gay adults – but what about us? Have they forgotten what it was like?” asked 20-year-old NS-man, Victor Raj.
A simple survey of 26 youths ranging from the ages of 18 to 21 across the gender and sexual orientation spectrum revealed that all 26 felt there were not enough resources to deal with being young and queer. While it was not meant to be a comprehensive study, the sampling was indicative of the general sentiment among this segment of the population.
PLUME hopes to be a platform for LGBT youth to express themselves through writing, foster the growth of an LGBT youth community in Singapore, and in doing so, provide support and resources for queer youth. Operating like a publication, it will publish articles and reader-submitted stories
“We’re hoping that this project will help in any small ways it can”, said Jasper Chen, another Editor on the team. “And hopefully, it will ease the pain young gay individuals face at that tough period of time.”
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08.25.06
Posted in General at 7:04 pm by AnJ
If you are lesbian, then this feeling would have a 95% chance of being familiar with you: The Crush Effect.
So you are attached and past the honeyoon stage. A new girl appears in your life. (Well.. MANY new girls but this particular babe snared your attention. In some cases, you might be drawn to more than one simultaneously.) You met her over a gathering or you met her over an online forum…
“Click”
She has a dazzling smile that weakens you at your knees, speaks and goes about her affairs with panache. She builds a connection that you didn’t think the two of you can have. She cares about your impending tasks. The thin line between friendship and a little beyond is skillfully straddled…
You think you like her.
You think she likes you… maybe.
And you spend days wondering if she fancies you a wee bit in that manner… eliciting smiles, interjected by frowns, stirring an odd blend of confusion and anticipation in your heart. Life seems a little less mundane.
But it falls short of pushing your current relationship into no-woman-land.
Congratulations- you are getting a dose of the Crush Effect.
The Crush Effect may not send your relationship into the dumps. Many a times, such feelings are dubbed ephemeral-and indeed many of them are- serving the purpose adding a dash of flavour to banal routines. That sudden rush of blood when you spot her from afar… you can feel your heart throbbing; that burst of excitement of seeing her at a later time in the day… a flush of happiness; that impulsive bagging of a new piece of clothing because of a friendly coffee-date in the week. It gives you an extra swing in your walk…
But the Crush Effect… can be deleterious.
It is interesting how two persons can take starkly different experiences from the exact same incident. When a person is stirred by the Crush Effect, salience is assigned to selective nuances that otherwise would not have… while the other party, who might not be feeling the same chemistry, is left baffled.
“She sent me an sms… which shows that she’s thinking of me… perhaps she is…”
“She said it’s her pleasure to provide company… can it be…”
“She seeks me out in the crowd to say hi… does it show that i am important to her?”
“Look at the way she smiles at me… it must be something…”
“She allows me to hold her stuff… maybe…”
Things taken out of context…
So potent.. so loud… and so misleading.
For this reason, give your friends’ related experience a big discount. For what you hear is what she takes away… it is not objective.
Ever heard of the confirming bias?
When a person believes that another likes her, happenings that agree with this would be salient and thus processed. Happenings that refute it would be discarded.
The outcome?
An intensification of the original hypothesis..
“She is darn infatuated with me!!!”
The Crush Effect…
The fuzzy feeling burning within the heart.
… You might want to keep a rein on it.
- About: Anj believes that crushes are ubiquitous and contribute to the "drama" idiosyncratic of the lesbian community.
- Forum discussion: Same-sex dynamics
- technorati: Crush, Lesbian, Singapore
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08.23.06
Posted in General, Identity, Minority at 9:07 am by sheilarajamanikam
I have an issue with minority.
I have an issue with token of appreciation.
I am sure that I am appreciated sometimes - if only because I am a token.
In a man’s world, I am the token woman.
In a straight woman’s space, I am the token lesbian.
Now, I am sure all of the above are not unfamiliar to most of you, but wait - there is more.
In a room of lesbians, I am the token leather dyke.
Politically, more often than not, I am the token Indian lesbian carrying the minority of minority placard - alone.
Signs that you are a token:
1. When you are in the group yet not connecting with anyone, made worse by intentional alienation. Imagine everyone else speaking in a different language, one I do not understand even though all of us are fluent in English.
2. When the same people you fight alongside with decide to turn their backs on your issues. Case in point: Lesbian feminists pressed for the right to birth control and abortions in the 60s and 70s, yet received no support for gay and lesbian rights in return.
3. When you are primarily perceived by the characteristics of your race. Because I am Indian, people assume that I must be submissive, meek, sexy, cook well and so on. Other aspects of my personality are either ignored or seen as an anomaly.
What is worse is when some of your own kind choose to assimilate into the majority and live in a fantasy world blind to the struggles you have had to go through.
In a recent forum, the issue of diversity surfaced in a forum when people wondered why no women of colour are being represented. When I asked the other minority women in the room to ask the question, they actually told me that “Oh, but I’d get slapped for it.” and that “I’d be isolated.”, as if expecting some kind of punishment for speaking out of a minority space, even when the majority women claim that we all live in a diverse community and that every woman has a voice. I find this statement problematic because the majority women speak with power of giving the space instead of everyone sharing an equal space.
Does this article make you feel uncomfortable? It should.
It pokes in the minds of minority women, who have chosen to make themselves invisible in order to fit in because it speaks of the silent, gnawing isolation they go through.
It also forces the majority women to reflect upon how they might have been isolating when they speak of diversity, even though they might have an understanding of isolation in other forms eg. homophobia.
One reaction I expect from publishing this is an outcry and a request to educate. I think education is not as important as awareness. It takes the awareness of each other’s minority to bring a greater unity to an already fragmented community.
- About: Sheila
- Forum discussion: Minority
- technorati: glbtq, lesbian, gay, queer, minority, indian, leather,
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08.22.06
Posted in General, Relationships at 9:06 pm by Guest Writers
You.
You who criticised and judged my relationship.
You who took no time in understanding what we were all about.
You who labelled me a player.
Out of spite.
Out of bitterness.
I kept silent, I spoke not a word.
Whatever I would’ve said would’ve been seen as me being defensive.
Let me tell you this….
What I have, it is rare and it is special. I love her and she loves me back; unconditionally, I might add.
I have never felt more grateful nor more blessed.
Sometimes, I could swear God had a hand in it.
You may not agree to this but I am not seeking your consent.
I would rather think that we had our time but we were not meant to be.
I hold nothing against you. I wish you could say the same.
Perhaps, one day, when you allow yourself to be in love and immerse yourself in it, will you understand how I feel about her.
So, here it is:
I am not a player. I have never played anybody. Till this end, I maintain my honesty and sincerity.
Yes, things are different with her. This is what makes her special. I learned from my mistakes. So should you.
I am in love. There is nothing wrong about it. When I don’t question her whereabouts, it is called trust.
What we had. It meant something. It takes two. You know it and I know it.
I can only wish you all the best and hope that some day, you will learn to love the sort of love she has taught me.
- About: ImperfectlyMe is reconciling the past with the present.
- Forum discussion: Sayoni Forum
- technorati: glbt, gay relationships, lesbian, queer, asian queer women, gay
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08.19.06
Posted in General, Singlehood at 12:31 pm by pure ego
It has been quite a long time since I wrote on Sayoni. During my absence here, I completed a screenplay and worked hard at my new job. Though I spent many hours writing after work and halted my social life, I did not feel the urge to ask anyone out when I finished the long script. Despite the loneliness, I preferred to spend time alone, going to the movies and gym.
So here I thought, these outings alone were great training for the years to come if I should end up alone. Anyway, I am alone and I have no urge or whatsoever to date anybody.
I preferred to do other things, thoughts of dating or being attracted to anyone isn’t on my list at all. Thus on Singapore’s national day I was excited, not because I spent my country’s 41st birthday alone, but because in the morning of August 9, I found myself on the plane heading to Saigon.
I had always been fascinated by Saigon, for her charm and of course, the beautiful Vietnamese girls featured in movies like “Good Morning Vietnam” and “The Quiet American”. I didn’t get to see any on my trip, or think that anybody would fancy me in Vietnam, till I went for a massage on my last evening there.
Read the rest of this entry »
- Forum discussion: Singles Camp
- technorati: glbt, lesbian, queer, relationships, being single, love, gay,
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Posted in Events at 1:56 am by snorkeem
Pelangi Pride Centre’s Event in August:
Massage Workshop for Couples, Friends and Family Members!
Exclusively at PPC, 21 Tanjong Pagar Road, #04-01
19 August 2006, 4-8pm
Your Facilitators: Sheung and Eileena
Massage is a wonderful way to bond with your loved ones. Couples, friends, and family members all benefit from the gift of touch! Learn the proper skills to give a good and safe massage and get the opportunity to nurture each other and alleviate complaints of pain.
During the session, part of the workshop will be spent learning massage techniques whilst the other will be spent receiving a massage! The workshop will also include a time for refreshments as well as a time to mingle or perhaps a chance to fine-tune your newly learnt skills!
Cost per person: $6 (which includes 2 soft drinks and finger food).
To sign up, please email contact@pelangipridecentre.org to RSVP with your name, contact number, the name/s of your guests.
[contact @ pelangipridecentre dot org]
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08.15.06
Posted in Chinese, Real Queer Love Stories, Relationships at 8:42 pm by Guest Writers
有没有想过，为自己写自传?我有，我渴望得到别人能为我坚强的生命力而感到骄傲，但在现实中，那是个没有能耐去实践梦想的借口。
而她，给我一个从新寻找定位的机会，我到底还有能耐继续活下去吗？
对一个不曾见面的人动“情”，那是多么不实际。然而这一切的不实际，有时候会为渺小的我在冷风刺骨的病房带来一点点暖身的热能。
我永远记得那一段黑暗的日子。女友走了，命也像不长了，入院的次数，频密得能够记得医院的每个电梯门口每一张“禁止抽烟”海报的位置。
她的出现让我混淆了，那到底是我发自内心的爱慕，或只是错误的幻觉？
还有好多好多人，好多好多的鼓励，好多好多的“爱”。为什么我会觉得她比其他人好？
我永远记得那个世杯刚开踢的晚上，我在电脑前的那四个小时，还有那段让我多么想继续谈下去的对话。
我： 你很像一个曾经让我伟大过的女生。
她： 她是谁？
我： 可能是她的天真和稚气让人看到我的眼泪。
我： 不要误会，我不是说你天真或幼稚。
她： 是不是一个伤心的故事？可以分享吗？
我： 没什么好伤心的，因为即使我流泪也是错的，因为她根本不属于我。
她： 即使流泪是错的，那么为什么流泪？
我： （手指放在键盘上，动也不动。）
她： 看来，你真的很喜欢她。
我： （没有给予丝毫的反应。）
她： 喂！
我： ？
她： 你不要吓我！你不是在哭吧？！
我： 你忘了我说过我已经没有眼泪了吗？
她： 骗人的，心里掉的眼泪也算。心痛也算。痛到没有感觉也算。
我： （我总是以沉默和不断的转话题来转移她的视线。）
她： 你没有回答问题。你不是在哭吧？
我： 要是你觉得我在哭而你想借我你的肩膀那很好！
她： 好啊。你家地址？
我： 地址？
她： 哈哈！不然怎样借你我的肩膀？很舒服的。
我： 那要试过才知道。
她： 来试啊。
我： 要是我试了你会后悔的。可能我也会后悔。
她： 你很臭，我会跑掉？*我最怕臭了！*
每次我想起她，就会不禁想起这一段让我哭笑不得的话。那天晚上，我真的感觉我们很近很近，我可以看见她讽刺我后的窃喜，感觉她调皮又让人回味的语气。
然而我知道，我可以有喜欢她的99个理由，但我却有1001个不可以爱上她的借口。因为她和她的幸福，让我看到自己最不足的地方，使我为自己的不实在和懦弱而无奈。
现在，我开始为自己每次用药后的副作用作了最坏的打算，那首歌，还有那些为感动而留下的字，至少有一天我忘记了她是谁，我还有那回忆留给我的馀温。
真的，不要为触不到而落泪，只要为爱过了而感动。
*送给一个曾经让我感动过的人。
(To leave on this post, click on the title.)
Read the rest of this entry »
tags:
gay,
glbt,
love,
queer,
relationships,
同志,
同性恋,
女同志,
拉子,
拉拉,
lesbian
- About: Shane is waiting for miracles in life!
- Forum discussion: 女儿国
- technorati: lesbian, gay, glbt, love, relationships, queer, 同性恋, 同志, 女同志, 拉拉, 拉子
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08.13.06
Posted in General at 6:56 pm by Teng Qian Xi
According to the legend of the White Snake, Bai Suzhen (a white snake that turned into an immortal woman) bought a green snake which she turned into a young girl. She named her Xiao Qing, and she remained her companion even after her marriage. When an evil monk trapped Bai Suzhen in a pagoda, it was Xiao Qing who, after years of martial arts training, was the one to free her. Together they fought the monk, and after winning they went back to her family home and lived happily ever after.
I appeared in the story only because you
wanted me to. It was your pale hands
that lifted me, a whip of emerald,
from the marketplace basket, and it was your words
that writhed out a soul from my shine-crusted body.
So there I was, to the world something between
your friend and a maid. He tended
towards the former; he was nice, that husband
of yours. I remember the rain when we
first saw him – it lanced silver across your cheek
while I cried out in spite of myself, isn’t he the one?
You just smiled, holding his hand as you
stepped lightly onto the boat.
That, I tell people, is how it began –
love at first sight, silver flashing down your face
while I (everyone laughs here) vomited into
the spangles on the water.
It was never explained to him why I moved
into his new home – I was just the giveaway
that had to be accepted with the amazing deal.
We got along in the end, and there was always
three of us at important events –
your child’s birth, the shop’s opening
and the inconvenient business you try not to remember.
But there was only me through the years
of perfecting my dance of death for you.
It was a rain of silver blades that I lived ten years in,
that quivered your pagoda-prison
into a thousand glittering shards. We won, of course. Now
it’s difficult at New Year visits; I ignore
your rhapsodies on family life
and the bachelors you invite to dinner. Now
your child thinks I’m his aunt; he pesters me
for stories of your life, but only my eyes
(when the tears melt him into your image)
tell him what you have forgotten:
Your face darted among the swords
like a river’s shifting light and we danced
in a rain of silver for the last time
together. Darling, I would have died for you
but I never had the luck.
- About: Teng Qian Xi was one of the 15 overall winners in the Simon Elvin Young Poet of the Year Awards 2000 for "Waterlights". She was the first non-British winner of this award. Previously published in: Fairy Tale Matches – poems by the Simon Elvin Young Poets of 2000, Project Eyeball online, the2ndrule.com, Love Gathers All: The Singapore-Philippines Anthology of Love Poetry (Ethos Books, Singapore, 2002).
- Forum discussion: Writer's Corner
- technorati: Teng Qian Xi, poetry, Simon Elvin Young Poets of the Year Award, glbt, lesbian, queer
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08.12.06
Posted in Events at 2:16 am by snorkeem
An indignation Event (www.plu.sg/indignation)
BE WHO YOU WANT TO BE:
The Great Singapore Makeover
(presented by SafeHaven and Mox)
Saturday 12 August 2006, 20.30 p.m. at Bianco@Mox
Fabulous Prizes to be won: 1st prize a trip for 2 (3D2N) to Bangkok!
More details at:
www.whoyouwanttobe.org
We need participants and audience! Make sure you come on 12 August!
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