01.29.08
Posted in Politics, Queer News, Religion at 11:58 am by pleinelune
On a boring bus-ride home, I was just musing that last week was the week to die.
I am not being morbid, really - at that time on TVMobile, the un-switch-off-able source of entertainment that subjects you to the terrible soap operas whether you want it or not, they were splashing news about Suharto’s death. Not that no one saw it coming, because I’ll bet you they were working on the eulogy and the news-report the minute Suharto was committed to the hospital.
And of course, a week ago, Heath Ledger was found dead on the floor of his SoHo of a drug overdose. Heath Ledger, as we all know, was the handsome hunk who played the gay cowboy on Brokeback Mountain, and did a wonderful job of it. While his young and sudden death is tragic, it is not something I particularly cared about, Brokeback or no Brokeback, until this. Read the rest of this entry »
- About: Pleinelune thinks everyone deserves to die with dignity. Even Hitler.
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01.22.08
Posted in Announcements at 3:10 pm by sayoni
Sayoni is holding a writing contest from now till the 13th of February. The one with the best entry walks away with $50 in cash or vouchers, and bragging rights.
Theme: Beginnings
Here’s what you need to do:
Pen a queer-related story/article and send your story to admin@sayoni.com by 13th February 2008. Include a secondary email contact, the username you would like to be known by, and a short line about yourself.
The top few entries will be published on Sayoni’s blog and the winner will be notified by email by end February, and announced on the blog.
Please submit original material that have not been published elsewhere (including personal blogs).
All women are welcomed.
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01.17.08
Posted in Bisexuality, Ex-gay, Identity, Psychology & Research at 5:46 pm by AnJ
Engine search:
“Can you change your sexual identity?”
Sure.
… if you are schizophrenic…
… self-delusional …
… or you don’t know what sexual orientation is.
Sexual orientation is something inherent for many people. That’s not something you change; that’s something you come to be aware of when you experience physical attractions. So if you want to change your sexuality identity with integrity, your sexual orientation has to be re-wired. And that, i believe, is 99.99% impossible for the person who has derived her sexual identity through thorough consideration of all her physical preferences.
It has been argued that sexuality for men is stable and sexuality for women is fluid over a life time. But these studies define sexuality at specific times according to self-reports.
Here’s a problem-
Your participants may not know how sexual orientation is defined [and hence discrepant definitions].
For most people, they make the error of defining it according to the gender of the partners they have been with i.e. the person whom they have romantic attraction towards. But being with a guy doesn’t make you a straight; just as being a woman doesn’t make you gay. And having been with members of both genders doesn’t automatically qualify you for the title “bisexual”.
Another thing to note is this- emotional attraction is a far cry from physical attraction and physical attraction is really the foundation of sexual orientation. [And your sexual orientation is only part of your sexual identity. You can read about it here.]
Sometimes i wonder if gender differences in relational dynamics are the culprit.
For example: Even if there are “Towel clubs” for gay women [i have yet to hear of one successful "towel club" for gay women here], i am guessing there won’t be many. And even through there are agency-managed male escorts and prostitutes [for straight women], there are not many.
If romantic attraction for women is determined by emotional attraction for a much larger part than physical attraction (as compared to men), is there little wonder that they found most women to be “bisexual” over a lifetime?
- About: Anj wonders...
- Forum discussion: Coming Out
- technorati: fluid sexuality, sexual identity, sexual orientation, gay, lesbian, bisexual
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01.12.08
Posted in Entertainment at 12:33 am by pleinelune
The much-anticipated premiere of Season 5 of The L Word, for which we were teased by two scintillating trailers, was utterly underwhelming. The opening was nothing like that of the previous season, which left me hanging for each and every episode. Part of the problem was that Season 4 ended on a flat note, with not many cliff-hangers or teasers. There wasn’t much the writers could pick up on, and expand further.
Warning: Spoiler Alert. Do not read further if you do not want spoilers!
Rating:
Related links:
Sayoni: The L Word Season 4 Review Part 1, Part 2 and Best of the Season
Read the rest of this entry »
- About: Pleinelune is wishing for The L Word to die and reincarnate in a better form
- Forum discussion: Entertainment
- technorati: lesbian, queer, gay, the l word
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01.07.08
Posted in General, Identity, Religion at 1:22 am by AnJ
Today, immediately after church, kai and i had the honor of being escorted from the overflow room to a windowless tiny “prayer and healing room” by a lady usher. When i said escorted, i meant the lady usher was holding on firmly to kai and I. Pastor Matthew wanted a word with us. The well-furnished room was empty, but for the lady usher, the pastor and us.
He stood before us in a formal suit, his body tall and broad, between us and the door. The lady usher on his right, quiet and petite.
“Hi, i am Pastor Matthew. I suppose the two of you are new?” He shook Kai’s hand.
“No, i am not new.” I answered.
“How long?”
“I have been attending this church since 1999.” I replied. “I know you, Pastor Matthew. You have been a pastor ever since i stepped in.”
“How long have you been saved?”
“I have been a Christian since the age of 5.”
Pastor Matthew asked me of Kai, “Is she a girl?”
I raised my eyebrows, “Is that not apparent…? I am a girl too. We are both girls.”
I needed to go to the washroom since before the end of service. But held out till the end of service. So you can imagine me having a high tide. Thought i could go to the washroom first. But he stopped me… Two seconds, he said. Two seconds sounds short. Okay. I held my bladder for longer.
He mentioned our behavior i.e. leaning on shoulders and holding hands. He asked, “Are the two of you in a relationship?” He elaborated- people were observing us and we are causing others to stumble through our display of affections.
I gave him a look of bewilderment, “How are we causing people to stumble?” A male usher outside shut the door of our room.
“Look at me.” He commanded.
“I have not taken my eyes off your face, Pastor Matthew.” I smiled at him and moved a step to face him squarely, less than an arm’s length away.
“Is there some kind of a relationship going on? I understand if you have challenges.” He continued. “I can show you scriptures from the bible… Are the two of you in a relationship… something more beyond friendship?” He pressed.
I gave him a light smile.
He raised his voice, “I mean are the two of you in a relationship?! Why can’t you give me an answer?!”
In response to his outburst, i asked, “Do i owe you an answer?”
“Yes, because you are causing people to stumble… If there is something going on, i have to arrest it… we can pray for you, help you…”
I raised my eyebrows again. “All i wanted is to listen to preaching. I don’t see how i am causing others to stumble.”
“Don’t eat meat in front of the vegetarians.”
I mulled over the sentence. And then it dawned upon me: eating meat in front of vegetarians would distress vegetarians. So i think what he’s asking for is behavior according to heterosexual norms. Okay, i think got that bit.
“Okay, i understand… Lots of girls lean on each other’s shoulders and hold hands. I lean on lots of people’s shoulders… next time if people ask, why don’t you just tell them that there’s nothing going on?”
He retorted, “Maybe i am living in the dark ages.”
“Probably.” I gave him a polite smile, “I really need to go to the washroom. Can i go now?”
———————————————–
She asked me, why couldn’t i just tell them we are together.
Because the ushers and other ministers would be roped into the room immediately and this session would drag for eons. It was a battle i didn’t deem worth fighting because the fight is not public and certainly not on a level platform. So if i can help it, i rather have it truncated. I didn’t want unfruitful trouble.
She asked me if i was trying to hide my sexuality.
No, i wasn’t. Because if i had told them we are only friends and there’s nothing going on, we could skip out from that windowless tiny room in two seconds. But i didn’t want to do that because that is untrue.
Am i traumatized?
No, merely angry at the way it was carried out- Escorting us firmly into the room in an aggressive manner and then trying to intimidate in manner and speech tone. It was rude to say the least.
Do i feel rejected?
No. People don’t bother me in this aspect. Christian fundamentalists once used the bible to say that inter-racial marriages are sin. Nothing human can shake my sense of His acceptance of me.
But then i gotten really mad… because i saw for myself the emotional impact of such an incident on another. And that makes me angry and indignant because it reminded me of the massive number of Christian gays who had killed or hurt themselves because of rejection from church.
What kind of a beast would put a living soul through such depths of emotional turmoil and still claim to walk in love?
tags:
christians,
discrimination,
gay,
homophobia,
hypocrisy,
lesbian,
lgbt,
militant christians,
queer,
singapore,
glbt
- About: By Anj
- Forum discussion: Sayoni Forum
- technorati: glbt, lgbt, gay, lesbian, queer, singapore, christians, homophobia, discrimination, militant christians, hypocrisy
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