07.30.08
Posted in Relationships at 12:18 am by pleinelune
Image Copyright of Sayoni
Love. Amour. Pyaar. Ai. No matter what language, what culture, the L word dominates our thinking, our lives, the media. Finding (and keeping) love, is the universal theme that connects humankind.
It might be partly the fault of media, that we have been absorbed into the myth of “love”. It begins with fairytales as a kid, when the Prince falls in love with the beautiful princess, and they live happily ever after. Then the movies, songs, which all seem to speak of this. Love has a powerful grip on the human imagination and consciousness, to the point where we almost seem obsessed with it.
Read the rest of this entry »
Permalink
07.23.08
Posted in Relationships at 6:00 pm by moonflower
In your love-drunken stupor (which you are stuck in), you linger on your partner of several months…
… She’s altogether lovely, a goddess from the heavens… Sweet, loving, intelligent, possessing a zest for life… You think she’s the most beautiful girl you have ever seen. She’s everything you ever hoped for… your dream come true.
And then you look at yourself…
… “Blah! I am too chubby over here, my hair doesn’t look great… my career is not having the break through that I hoped for… Not good-looking enough, not successful sufficiently… I think I suck.”
Very quickly, this spirals down into…
“I don’t think I am good enough for her…”
“… but I can’t live without her…”
and so…
“I am going to do whatever I can to keep her.” Read the rest of this entry »
- About: Moonflower is taking life easy.
- Forum discussion: Same-sex dynamics
- technorati: relationship insecurities
Permalink
07.10.08
Posted in Advice Column, Coming out, Relationships at 3:35 pm by ling
Facing a problem with your life, your sexuality, relationship, family et cetera? Write in to our advice columnist, Ling, with your problem. All emails are confidential and your anonymity will be preserved.
Dear Ling
I’m a married woman in my 30s, with two kids and a wonderful husband. Wonderful as he is, I know I am not in love with him, and never can be… I knew I was a lesbian even before I got married… but my parents were pressuring me to find a husband before my time was up, and so I did. He is a great husband and a father, and I’m fairly fond of him. Our sex life, however, is practically non-existent… every time he tries to initiate sex, I make up an excuse and decline, because every time we do, I feel like crying, and I often do, after he has fallen asleep.
I love my kids, and I want what’s best for them. I don’t want to put them through a divorce, and it is not like my husband is a bad man. But the longer I stay in this relationship, the longer I feel I am lying to myself, and the more depressed I get. I don’t know what to do.
Married Mom
Read the rest of this entry »
Permalink
07.07.08
Posted in Relationships at 4:13 pm by moonflower
This begins a column on Relationships by moonflower.
Enters Lav, a masculine lesbian student in her twenties. Lav and her girlfriend had been together for a few months when she decided to tell her of her sexual past. Lav had a relationship, on and off, with a married man many years her senior. The relationship was a one-way sexual affair and never proceeded to intercourse. Lav had decided to break away from this clandestine relationship and was successfully faithful with her girlfriend. Lav’s girlfriend received the news with disbelief and the relationship descended rapidly into disintegration.
Is honesty always the best policy?
What should we come clean about?
What should be left buried six feet under? Read the rest of this entry »
- About: Moonflower likes to work in a quiet cafe along a quaint little street with a cup of piping hot tea.
- Forum discussion: Relationship dynamics
- technorati: honesty, ex lovers, insecurity, jealousy
Permalink
06.09.08
Posted in Advice Column, Relationships at 7:58 pm by ling
This begins a new column on Sayoni Speak, Letters to Ling. Facing a problem with your life, your sexuality, relationship, family et cetera? Write in to our advice columnist, Ling, with your problem. All emails are confidential and your anonymity will be preserved.
Dear Ling,
I am living with my girlfriend of three years. We’re really in love, and we plan to spend the rest of our lives together… except for the fact that there is this really cute co-worker who I am really physically attracted to, and I really can’t help it. I don’t love my girlfriend any less, she’s still the love of my life, and everything is fine in our sex life. So I don’t understand why I am so attracted to her, and it is very distracting at work, and I feel really guilty about thinking of someone else at all. I am terrified my girlfriend will find out and it is going to ruin our relationship, even though I’ve done nothing with the other girl, who happens to be gay as well.
What do I do?”
“Feeling Guilty”
Read the rest of this entry »
- technorati: relationship, love, cheating, lesbian, attraction
Permalink
05.08.08
Posted in Coming out, Emotional Health, Identity, LGBT Rights, Relationships at 3:00 pm by jin
Image Copyright of Sayoni
One Sunday I had lunch with my uncle. We get along fairly well and I am out to him, but we are not at the stage where we have copious open free conversations about my relationship status or my partner. Anyhow, during lunch, it was just the two of us because my aunt was out of town. We were having a routine, run-of-the-mill conversation as usual (What are you ordering; how was your trip to Bangkok, how much did you pay for a massage; did you know that iceberg lettuce lowers blood sugar; the car is due for servicing etc)
Read the rest of this entry »
- About: Jin believes the big bad homophobic world can be changed one small step at a time
- Forum discussion:
Permalink
05.03.08
Posted in Real Queer Love Stories, Relationships at 12:11 am by Guest Writers
Image Copyright of Sayoni
This is co-written by Yee and Qin, a love story which began in Sayoni through the Personals section… all it takes is an email, ladies.
Another normal day at work, Yee was at her desk sorting the emails in her mailbox.
*Click* *Click* A mail caught her eye from a sender named Qin.
Little did they know that this email would set the clockwork in place to spin a tale of two souls whose paths crossed through the wonders of cyberspace; brought together by a forum which they frequent, Sayoni. They have never met, do not even know each other but somehow they were brought together which I would like to believe as serendipity. It was the beginning of a new chapter in their lives and hopefully, in the following chapters of the book, imprinted by the footprints of these two characters who met by chance.
Read the rest of this entry »
Permalink
07.30.07
Posted in Announcements, Bisexuality, Chinese, Relationships, Singapore Gay News at 12:55 am by pleinelune
A line-up of exciting events, ready to make you laugh, cry and think. This year, we present 5 diverse events, and guess what, boys? You can come and play too.
Events in chronological order:
BIFOCAL
Date: Saturday, 4 August 2007
Time: 3 - 5:30 pm
Venue: 72-13
This ground-breaking event will cover issues that bisexuals face every day in coming out, relationships and finding their own space within the queer community. Can bisexuals ever be monogamous? Are bisexuals in straight relationships traitors to the GLBT community? Fearless and unshy of controversy, this forum is for anyone who has once asked these questions.
同不同 - DOES LIKENESS MATTER?
Date: Saturday, 4 August 2007
Time: 7:30 - 9:30 pm
Venue: 72-13
Queer-themed Chinese writing has found a place in Singapore’s literary landscape, individually. Now they will come together at this groundbreaking event, for dialogue and expression. Celebrating diversity, this promises to be a literary treat for all. Featuring academic and playwright Quah Syren, writer Ng How Wee, young writers Teng Qian Xi, Willy Yeo and more, the audience will be treated to a forum wherein the intricacies of forbidden love and its inspiration, as spoken through Singapore Chinese literary works (original and translated), are explored. Follow us as we seek camaraderie in diversity. Or perhaps it doesn’t matter at all.
Licence from MDA pending
TALL TALES AND SHORT STORIES
Date: Sunday, 5 August 2007
Time: 7:30 - 9:30 pm
Venue: 72-13
How do women who don’t pair up primarily to procreate view the expiry of their youth and ovaries? Ovidia’s short story takes a light-hearted look at how one woman who’s no longer entitled to free drink vouchers on Ladies’ Nights survives the stereotypes of middle age, straying lovers and a (sterilised) ex-stray cat.Yi-sheng’s offering, on the other hand, is a spicy phantasmagoric romp through the eyes of a man who sexually desires old men.
Licence from MDA pending
RELATIONSHIP MYTHS
Date: Monday, 6 August 2007
Time: 7:30 - 9:30 pm
Venue:72-13
Queer relationships don’t last compared to straight relationships. In this talk, Anj Ho will challenge such myths with research literature and present to you what have been found to make relationships tick. Regardless of your orientation, you will find this interactive talk refreshingly informative.
YOUR RELATIONSHIPS AND YOU
Date: Sunday, 12 August 2007
Time: 3 - 6:30 pm
Venue: 72-13
OCWomen and Sayoni are pleased to bring you a groundbreaking workshop which focusses on our selves in relationships.
The workshop takes you through a light-hearted process of reflection on your past/present relationships with the aim of providing you with greater clarity and self awareness.
Understanding the types of relationships we have lived through and the dynamics in the partnerships we make, gives clarity to what we are like when we are in a relationship. Understanding ourselves in our relationships is key to truly living a relationship.
Clarity and honesty within is crucial when inspecting our numerous motivations and our modes of operation. Only then will we begin to know who we truly are and build the relationship that resonates us. There will also be interactive discussions on the types of relationships, the roles that we play in them and signs of negative relationships.
For an afternoon of enlightenment, come!
Permalink
07.23.07
Posted in Announcements, Psychology & Research, Relationships at 4:45 pm by AnJ
Event: Relationship Myths
Date: 6th August 2007 (Monday)
Time: 7.30pm
Venue: 72-13
Have you been to forums in which lesbian women share about their relationships? What have you heard?
Stories of difficult love and barriers galore… the search for family acceptance of oneself and partners… the average lesbian relationship is given 7 years. Long-lived relationships are barely heard of; the occasional decade-long ones are much revered and looked upon as mythical creatures.
How much of gender differences come into play in the dynamics of relationships? Is love really all it takes for “forever”? In this interactive talk, you will be introduced- from the eye of research literature- to what contributes to relationship longevity and satisfaction; what separates straight relationships from queer ones.
You will be surprised… for what you think isn’t always what is.
- Forum discussion: Relationship Myths
- technorati: Lesbian, relationships, indignation, singapore
Permalink
07.17.07
Posted in Real Queer Love Stories, Relationships at 1:03 am by Guest Writers
This is a guest article by moonflower.
Image from Relationshiptalk.net
We met almost purely by chance, I think. What were the odds you would stumble on my Fridae profile when we weren’t remotely connected, and actually take time to read through it? Or that you would message me and tell me how you found me interesting.You know, I didn’t even think you were pretty. I was already thinking of how to say no to you.
And then I heard your voice, your words. I felt the chemistry, the connection forming between two people over the phone. It was instant, precipitating out of everything we said to each other, and more importantly, what we didn’t say.
Read the rest of this entry »
- About: moonflower thinks it is better to have loved and lost than not have loved at all
- Forum discussion: Real Gay/lesbian love stories
- technorati: gay, lesbian, queer, broken heart, relationships
Permalink
« Previous entries
